In a talk that's by turns heartbreaking and hilarious, writer and podcaster Nora McInerny shares her hard-earned wisdom about life and death. Her candid approach to something that will, let's face it, affect us all, is as liberating as it is gut-wrenching. Most powerfully, she encourages us to shift how we approach grief. "A grieving person is going to laugh again and smile again," she says. "They're going to move forward. But that doesn't mean that they've moved on."
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*You don’t overcome it.*
You learn to live with it.
*We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn grief into something positive, to find a silver lining in the clouds. But I believe there is real value in just being still, being sad, and growing from the experience*
Yes! I cried listening to you because I could feel your words. A couple of years ago I lost 5 people in one year including my mom. I once told a friend who lost his wife you’re not going to get over it, you accept it, and then you can learn to live with your loss. It really helped him move forward.
Hey I know literaly exactly how you feel… There are no words that can describe the pain, not even feelings… and the worst when people dont understand how it hurts you so much…
All the very best to you. Take care.
Roses are red
Violets are blue
I am here
And your mom is dead
+tyran is this little ditty of yours supposed to be funny? If so, I’m not laughing.
There is a saying that time heals all wounds.
But I think time helps with the acute pain, and then forms a scar.
Which always remains.
Thank you for your transparency. I took some GREAT notes. I love your humor and your amazing focus. Thank you for sharing!!!!
Dustin Hoffman once said on “60 minutes” that what should be written on his tombstone is, “I knew this was going to happen.” Since we know we have an appointment with death that knowledge should spur us onto doing something about it. No one is ready to live, until they are ready to die. May we all repent and place our trust in Jesus alone for our salvation and to give us our hope of heaven.
Amen ❤
That is so true. I will never move on from those I have loved and lost. I will carry them in my heart forever.
Thank you Nora. Finally someone who truly gets it. I lost my fiance, my best friend and my dad very close together 2 years ago, and have had a very difficult time dealing with it since. My friends quickly walked away from me, my family disintegrated. Nobody truly gets it, til they GET IT. Thank you!
Same here its like im poison now and my own familly dont care. I feel like everthing i love will die . so im becoming colder to ppl and wont love as strong as i normally would .
+kim love I couldn’t believe the reactions of those whom I thought were my closest friends. When one of my friends lost her dad, I never considered bailing on her. I was by her side every moment, and even offered to go to the funeral for support. This was before my own dad passed.
+Birdie we all need to be here for eachouther.i wish i could be there for u too.
One of the best ted talks I have seen…
Witty, charming and emotionally powerful
Salute to her
I won’t ever get past my wife dying, and I choose not too.
Some live with it, Some work through it Some, well most folks do what they have to to do get by.
Me, as I say I prefer to live the way I do, not seeking company, not visiting my grief on others, ever.
Fortunately, nobody close to me has died yet… but grief still has had a huge role to play in my life… albeit indirectly… I’m only 18 and just starting to understand my father’s grief over his mother… who passed away when he was 15… and he turned 50 this year… he still will talk about her as if she only died a few weeks ago.. and he’s never quite had closure to it… and it’s always been so heartbreaking for me to hear about someone that I never knew who he loved so much…
Also, I took my boyfriend to his grandmother’s grave which he hadn’t visited in a while… he’s also 18 and she died when he was about 11… and I had never seen anyone so close to me cry as hard as he did… it really broke my heart but I stayed there with him and let him explore emotions that he had suppressed for years… it was a really strong moment for us..
Thanks if you read this <3
That is special . I’m so happy to hear the two of you could be there for each other. How amazing you are that you could “BE,” allowing him the space to explore his emotions. And at such a young age. I’m so impressed with the younger generation. You are creating heaven on Earth. Love one another, learn what you came here to learn and follow your bliss Dearhearts. Namaste
+Light Warrior1111 Thank you!! That’s very sweet! I’m often told that I’m much more mature than my age group… In fact, I kinda feel like a parent in my relationship even haha..
Lately I’ve been trying to understand the world around me way better and getting into people’s minds and seeing the world as they do.. like for my boyfriend, I knew he was really suffering from grief and his family is really harsh so he’s never had a chance to properly grieve.. so I wanted to give him a safe place/moment to properly grieve for sometime.
“I licked my fingers clean” almost made me burst into tears in the middle of my lunch walk.
I believe similar should be said about relationships that fail: not move on, but move forward.
We are of the same mind on the topic of relationships… To me loss is loss, wether someone died or not… I won’t ever get over it, even if I could still say hi (Which I tried, and that didn’t go so well so lesson learned)
OMG… I completely understand. With the Tragic life events the we all have unexpectedly & the happy moments also. I lost my twins, divorced, grandma & my father. Same year..
I understand, MOVING ON WITH GRIEF INSIDE & REMEMBER EACH DAY NOT TO LET GO OF MY PAST BUT JUST MOVE ON WITH IT, ONE DAY AT A TIME.
I totally agree. The worst thing that ever happened to me was at age 30 when I lost my womb and I had no children yet. I have moved forward since then. I have a good live, am as happy as I can be and do things I want to do. But the grief is still there, always. Sometimes very close, sometimes further away. The birthday comparison is very accurate. This year it is 31 years ago. For my friends it is non-existent anymore by now I guess, but I remember every february 5. And that is just one exemple.
Nora Mclnerny, you’re my funny, wise, and powerful hero. Thank you for sharing.
Best Ted talk I’ve seen. What a beautiful, strong, brave woman. I cried and laughed the whole way through. I wish Nora nothing but happiness, and I’m thankful she shared her insights.
I despise to hear ‘how are you?’ let’s see I found my eight year old son dead January 22,2019. I’m just here I’m not good and that is ok!
A lot of the times people don’t know what to say. So they say nothing at all.. One of my best friends who moved abroad didn’t show any sympathy at all when my dad died almost 18 years ago. She didn’t know what to say. I was 22 years old. Or the other thing that someone told me when one of my best friends died two years ago is “ please don’t cry”. People get nervous..
All you really need is a hug and a shoulder to cry on. Someone who will listen. You don’t need any wise words .. And no you will never move on from a loss. I still cry when I think about my friend. I still miss my dad.. every day. These people are with me everywhere I go…
Thank you for this. Made my eyes water…
Thank you so very much, I lost my only son, and needed to hear this 5 YEARS ago when he passed….and I needed it today more than ever. Thank you, sincerely.