The money talk that every couple needs to have | Your Money and Your Mind

When it comes to talking about money with your significant other, most of us … just don’t. But the fact is, if you share a life, you need to discuss your finances now, says behavioral scientist Wendy De La Rosa. She explains why and shares 3 tips to get you started.

Managing your money can feel scary and complicated, but it doesn't have to be. In this TED series, behavioral scientist Wendy De La Rosa explains why we spend too much and save too little — and shares easy steps to help us achieve a more secure financial future. (Made possible with the support of Wells Fargo)

Watch Your Money and Your Mind with Wendy De La Rosa at

23 Comments on The money talk that every couple needs to have | Your Money and Your Mind

  1. I don’t want to choose between owning a house or being able to live anywhere in the world. Owning a house is a good first step to being able to travel anywhere around the world. Its useful for leverage on loans in an emergency, it can be rented out for income to support you while overseas, etc. If you want to live anywhere in the world, I recommend that you get a house and contract a good rental company.

  2. How do you balance it when both would prefer to keep finances separate, but one makes significantly more (like more than double) than the other? How do you keep from one feeling taken advantage of because they usually pay or the other one feeling insecure or like they’re not contributing enough?

    • I believe that expenses should be shared based on the income, not equally. For example if one partner makes twice as much as the other, he/she should also pay 2/3 of expenses. Everyone should contribute based on what they can afford.

    • 1. Spreadsheet to keep track of bills.
      2. Joint account for bill pay, all other accounts separate.
      3. Bills are paid in proportion to gross income (not net).
      4. Each partner has a choice — from whatever is left of their income — on how much to put into retirement tax shelters, vs. disposable income. E.g., bills may not be equal, but neither are savings.

      So, because of (3), the higher earner that (let’s say) gets paid double the other’s earnings, will pay 2/3 of bills, and the smaller earner 1/3. Each partner will feel about the same amount of financial burden.

      The key is that the higher earner also has more income left for disposable income and retirement. So, besides bills, your paycheck feels yours, for better or worse.

      Also, the higher earner benefits when the lesser earner gets a pay raise (as the proportion of bills they pay goes down).

      It is an environment which encourages each to pursue career and pay increases, because their own retirement savings are based solely off of their own paycheck.

    • Na, i dont think so. This is just way too much focus on the money for me here. I wonder what wells fargo got to do with this… nice change that happened to ted i guess…

    • I think the 1st conversation starter could be very useful there: “What are your long term financial goals?”

      That person is unemployed today, but tomorrow might get a job. That person is an intern today, but tomorrow might get a job so it is a good exercise to talk and see what that person would do IF they had access to money. You listen, you talk and you figure out your similarities and differences from there.

  3. Iguess that me and my partner never had to take the talk as we just share the information of the finance no matter what. It’s not hard to do to begin with. I guess most of this in the video is focused on the americans? It’s hard to see how it fits outside of US

    • Well, I don’t know where you are coming from but cultures outside of the states are quite different so I would think it could apply to many other people/cultures as well.

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